It was a day of coronation for freedom. We walked through these gardens that were smiling with the most beautiful roses that epitomized the love that existed between us humans. ”Careful!” my mind reminded because beneath these roses lay thorns, behind this freedom lay a sanguinary past. Reminiscing grievances of this liberation, the only one interested to lend an ear to it was my mind, only sane companion left for me. It is time I open the door that lets me into my past.
Money was their gun and greed, bullets as they sprayed them around for these inches of land that justified their hegemony. Everyday they romped around this land with that lust, Gallows were never empty for they always had heads that embellished them and this was their exemplar to crush resistance. Cannibal instincts in us humans had been reinforced by their strong-arm, bloodthirsty tactics as a man was whipped to death in his field while he was made to pull the plough in place of oxen, a perfect masterpiece of savagery.
Direst days ended with murkiest nights, it was for a faint beacon that this heart longed for, fainter than the stars glowing far away from our world. Everyday I offered a gaze to them hoping for a change and it was answered in the days to come. Just like the high tides of the sea that roared their presence, it was a man’s words that dug deep into my heart like a dagger, clearing all the malignant thoughts. “Oneness is their strength and selfishness is our weakness, a count of their heads can be done with our fingers, so what do you think WE are capable of?” these are the words that ignited a vicious cycle that awaited them. A virus called ‘unity’ spread like any other virus across us people. We took up arms and it is time we show them a taste of their own toast. Strategies and survival skills, regiments and training were part of my life for next few months. The regiment I was part of was called Regiment Seven and I could still recall my first day in this regiment.
“ Welcome! To Regiment Seven,” Yelled our officer.
“ Here, there’s only Victory or Death,
There’s only blood for your thirst,
There are only corpses for your hunger,
Remember, every drop of blood we drain is to make our flag fly high,
Gone are days of joy with your families,
Voices of your mothers, fathers, wives, children are all MEMORY!
Days they start with dawn, nights they end at ten,
Snow may fall,
Heat may sap,
Gusts may shake,
You should stand tall,
Fall, should you, out of here,
Victory should never lose your sight,Never!” declared our Seargeant.
“ If good begets good then bullets beget bullets,
When the enemy draws near,
Never lose your thoughts to nature,
Move like a tiger tracing its catch,
No signs of your presence,
Each move to deceive your enemy,
Each breath saying the word ‘KILL’,
Each heart beat should go unheard,
Hear will you, death will follow.
Head on your shoulders,
Hands on your weapons,
Eyes on your enemy,
Dagger, if he’s near,
Bullet, if he’s farther,
A half-alive enemy is good enough for retaliation,
Make their end memorable,
Filling fear in their thoughts,
FEAR! That’s what our enemies should feel when they hear about us, FEAR!” taught our Seargeant.
‘The Brave take refuge only in heaven, and the cowards, everywhere else’ was our motto and it had been printed on our flags. Those days with the regiment were sculpted deep in my heart.
I glanced at the river that flew across our village, it was crystal clear as of now but it won’t be in days to come. We marched towards the battlefield for this war and knew that our freedom is bloodstained. The writings on the walls were written with the blood of dead, ammunition to our minds, reminding us to make the count even. Now the battle shifted to my home, I glanced at the river one last time, it was carmine with blood flowing in place of water. I knew that I may not be coming back here again. I gazed at the dusky skies, it was blood red, warning the world around of a war here. Thoughts dominated actions at this point of time and so I fell victim to a sniper only to escape with a bullet in my back.
“Lieutenant! Lieutenant!,” nurse yelled shaking me violently, I opened my eyes. The atmosphere here was more serene with scents of spirit all around. I came to know that it was seven days since I was in control of my senses.
“Swallow this pill,” she ordered.
Unable to bear the pain I blasted out at the nurse “Will this pill rest me forever?”
But this momentary lapse of reason was thwarted with a smile from the nurse. My engines have cooled down and my thoughts back into groove and so it blabbered “Even in the worst of your days remember, there are people fighting more dire situations than yours. This pain is good, it is the medicine that keeps your desire to win higher.”
“Sanity is back,” I thought.
Sometimes it is better to let your mind do the talking rather than your mouth and So I unleashed it.
“Look at these hands, they want to hoist the flag that symbolized our freedom,
Look at these limbs, they want to be part of the victory march,
Listen to your heart beat, every beat is a sound that rejoiced our victory,” my inner force continued as I felt better.
Few more days passed, the shots of the snipers were clear, the beds here were all filled with souls like me, all of them who fell down fighting safeguarding our land.
One fine day everything seemed serene, there were no more visitors dripping with blood down here and so I felt a ceasefire must have been reached. The nurse walked over to me and gave me my routine morning pills “Is the war over?” I asked the nurse unable to control my curiosity.
She replied, “Well the sound of thousand conchs,
March of soldiers,
Smiles over children’s faces,
Suggest that the war is……”
“WON!” I completed.
Well that was all past and now I’m back alive but not the same. My mind underwent vicissitudes of sorts during that period. The pain is effervescent, but now there is one thought that sends me into dilemma “Is it better to forgive and forget or remember and retreat?”
I can hear the sounds of guns firing, this time in air and not into an enemy’s head.
For now I kiss my past goodbye.
Mahendra Sharma,
7th July,1946.
It was a double page that fell from my grandfather’s old documents. I searched for his diary but it ended in vain. Old man always had wise words and there are few here I pondered.
